In the Babemba tribe of South Africa, when a person acts irresponsibly, he is placed in the center of the village alone. All work ceases, and every man, woman and child in the village gathers in a large circle around the accused individual. Then each person in the tribe speaks to the individual, one at a time, each recalling the good things the person in the center of the circle has done in his lifetime. Every event, every experience that can be recalled with any detail and accuracy, is told. All his positive attributes, good deeds, strengths, and kindnesses are recounted carefully and at length.  Nothing is exaggerated or fabricated.  No criticism is allowed.  This tribal ceremony often lasts for several days. At the end, the tribal circle is broken with a joyous celebration, and the person is symbolically and literally welcomed back into the tribe.

I believe that our true nature is one of goodness and love.  Life and culture can deprogram that over time and reprogram it with things like insecurities, fear and anger.  When we do things that hurt other people it’s usually because we ourselves are hurting.  Hurt people hurt.  I believe that love heals all.  This forgiveness ritual strengthens the love and self-esteem of the accused.  These ceremonies are very successful and in fact are rare to be had according to the tribe.  We just need to remember who we really are.  And sometimes we just need help remembering.  It’s that simple.  This is especially critical to do with children.  I do this with my daughter.  It really does change the energy around conflict and something inside her.  So remember next time someone is acting out or unkindly try and help them remember.  See what happens.